Maybe eccentric (?)

Hi.

What a breezy week to doze off for hours, a great week to do nothing, I only want to go home and see my family. Earlier my father called, he was so sweet to actually phone me up. I don't share a tight bond with him, either because he's this cold man who lost his father's love at the age of 9, or maybe he just doesn't like me for who I am. It's very subjective, I still can't reaffirm the whole conflict. 

Being 18 makes me realise that I'm not like other girls. I've seen it from scratch to be frank, but I decided to keep it to myself and let it slip my mind. However, the anomaly I own is a struggle. I am proud of it, but sometimes it's difficult for me to fit in the society. Earlier today, I was told there was a hockey practice. In this country, hockey is somehow an off key sports, we don't play it much. It's underrated. When I knew about the practice, I was psyched as ever. Even skipped my P.E class just to attend the practice. Such a bummer when I arrive at the field, there were no one...at all. It saddens me. Mom told me to try something else since I've been fighting for the game since high school but never succeeded, to her it's like time to give up and move on to something new. 

The problem is me, I can't really move on just yet. Hockey is like my soul, I fond it more than any sports as I find it interesting. I was also ranted by my guy friend earlier, it was sort of despairing to hear him talk but I was only explaining my state. I found out that a friend of his, is somehow having a major crush on me. I can even tell when he talks to me or when we sit together at the same table. I really can't do commitment. Taking a few steps back, I was less ego and I can tolerate with guys texting me with breath-taking sayings, howbeit...after transiting myself to college, it is like a new life.

 I do not want to talk nor waste my time with anyone particular, I feel like I just want to be friends with everyone, I just wish someone with a stable status and a matured mind would come to me one day and tell me he loves me. Kidding, I actually don't desire that this time around but I do want a loving husband to make beautiful children.