The blindsides we dismiss,

Counting days to pack myself back home in conjunction of Independent's Day. Although it's two weeks away, I am psyched to be in SAC. I am missing home like crazy, I've been spamming mom with pictures, sorrow voice notes and also dreadful thoughts on how much I love her and the others. Too bad for me I got scorned by her for being such a cry baby. She told me to brace myself and accept the fact that Lendu is my "new home" The fact I'm here to succeed and be a someone in the future. I only hope the homesick will eventually go away soon. 

I was on Twitter and I found this interesting tweet, 

It was a tweet from this typical high school student, asking for a remedy to discharge the laziness in her. I remember being in her shoe, to be frank. Adolescences and studying are two things related but hardly combined. We are like sand and water. We scarcely "dissolve" well. Truth to be told, laziness is nothing but a life time remorse. 

I was 17, I was a high school student, I was curious on aging up, I was in love (ops). I did a lot in my senior year, to be exact I went slipping off my real agenda as a student. In my country, being 17 is probably the most challenging yet disturbing year, we all are somehow pressured to sit for our O-Levels and to ace with flying colours. To achieve bad results are considered imbecile and to belittle by the entire community. It's all about the A's. However, it's not really about the A's to me, it's about the interest and the understanding one could figure. The country's education system is a wreck (seriously)

For my O-Levels, I only managed to achieve 3As, which were English, Bahasa Melayu and Science. I did aim for 6 or 7 As but hey I was a lazy ass. I blame myself for that. I only do last minute studies and English was my thing, that is the only concrete reason why I achieved an A. The day of my result, I went with my friends, well it was saddening to not achieve a good result, but I was actually happy. For someone who doesn't spend much time on books and literally wasted most of time adoring a guy, I think my result was a good deal for me. I remember my juniors coming up to me to calm me down. They were so nice, especially Osman. 

I got home with a smile, I was not proud of myself, but I was happy even though my parents weren't. My dad was damn worried about my future, he actually lost hope for me. He figured I won't get accepted in any public colleges, mom faked her happiness and said it was alright but I know it was not (to her) It was devastating when I had to lie to some people about my results just to cover the shame and to make myself look smart. Mom even dismissed me at family reunions that time around. She avoided being near me just so people would not ask her about my results. It hurts, a lot! 

Reminiscing those days made me realise how thankful I am to be placed in UITM. It was a rough journey to be honest, I had sleepless nights thinking about where will I go just because of the 3As I achieved. I know, deep inside I'm a smart kid, but only due to my laziness, it almost cut my chance off to be grouped with the smart kids. Thus, this is one of the reason why I am majorly in rage when some of my course mates/classmates are not taking their study lessons seriously. I am not really into studying as in 24/7 with books but I know my responsibilities. The past had taught me what pain means and I don't want to feel it again. Hence, to all youngsters who are taking up their O-Levels this year, please do me a favour. Start studying, revise, practice because at the end, it's for your own good/future.